I’m here. I’ve been in a deep place these last several days, and it’s been a difficult, beautiful path for my family and I to walk. I don’t really recognize my life at the moment. The days run together,and the hours pass on. I’m trying hard to emerge from the thick to show you what all I’ve seen. I want you to know. My dad wants you to know. He no longer has a lot of strength to speak the words, but he wants his life to be a testimony to the end, and it will be.
God has, just as He promised, been very present. Not only in these past few weeks, but since the beginning. I think the greatest blessing of my life is the knowing that God directs every step of my life. From placing me in the arms of two 20-year-old parents who would become the greatest influences of my life, to leading me to Dave, who has not only been my best friend ever, but has exceeded even himself in caring for my dad at his bedside along with my mother, brother, sister and I.
And I can’t forget to mention this house. You’ve seen so much of it. I’ve written to you about about the colors on the walls and the furniture in the rooms. It’s been a big part of what I write to you here. But, I can see now that God gave us this house for a bigger purpose. And as I watch my dad sleep in my Master bedroom, big enough to hold his hospital bed and the rest of this family, I know. It was all for now. The guest room I loved decorating, now the perfect place for Dave and I. The floor plan that allows us to see Dad through the window from the family room when he needs his rest. These large windows over my desk–so he can glance out at the sun shining through the snow and ice and whisper, “That’s a gift.”
As I was sitting by his side to write this, my dad started speaking to me of these very thoughts (yet another way God shows Himself to be near). I read the above passage to him, then he asked me to read Psalm 112:1-2 to him.
Praise ye the Lord. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth greatly in his commandments.
His seed shall be mighty upon the earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.