20 Notes to My Daughter on Her 20th Birthday

Dear Lola,

In just days, we will be celebrating 20 years since the day you changed our lives.  Building up to your grand entrance, you kept us guessing about whether you’d be a boy or a girl…and what a fabulous girl you’ve turned out to be. Funny, sweet, friendly, determined, capable. 

I love that God gave you words as one of your passions and skills.  And so I thought it only fitting that I share a few with you to mark this day of double decades. You’ve heard these before like little beads I’ve scattered here and there throughout your years, but I’ll string them together for you now as a special strand to hold and wear close to your heart.

 

1. Remember, sweet girl, the things that should be remembered:  who you are, the family name you carry, the amount of love your family has for you, the date the library book is due, the name of the person you just met, the blessings God gives you every single day.

 

 

2. Forget what should be forgotten:  the embarrassing thing that happened that wants to replay in your mind, the time someone forgot to pay you back, the words of a bully in middle school, the hurt that never received an apology.

 

3. Be extremely careful with your words, and remember the power they hold.  Words make relationships and relationships make a life.

 

4. Be the one who smiles first.  It’s the clearest message you can send that’s understood in every language.

5. Read many books, as I know you will, but know your Bible for the life-giving truth it holds. It’s the only book that can never be truly exhausted because the Author is always revealing something new.

6. Share your laughter freely and be as generous as possible with your kindness, but reserve your anger for the rarest and most isolated of circumstances.

 

7. Do what you say you will do, be where you say you’ll be, and do it in the time you said you would.

8. Don’t be afraid to learn new skills, especially if it gives you more opportunities to improve relationships.

9. Write hand-written thank you’s as a general habit, but also look for other opportunities to encourage someone with a note.  Written words are tangible treasures.

10. Make your bed every morning.  This small discipline starts the day off right and gives you a beautiful and comfortable reminder of at least one good accomplishment at the end of it.

11. Listen well in conversations and truly hear what the other person is saying. It’s one of the best ways to love someone.

12. Forgive quickly, apologize sincerely, hold on to good friends, and let go of grudges.

13. Be wise but generous with your finances.  Remember everything comes from God, and money is just a tool for building a meaningful life with others.

14. Guard your relationships with your siblings.  They are the first friends God gave you, and could be the only ones who will be with you through every stage of life.

15. Don’t miss an opportunity to have meaningful conversations with your grandparents.  They are full of your own history.

16. Balance every criticism with 10 times the amount of gratitude.  You’ll soon find a lot less to criticize, and your gratefulness will be contagious.

 

17. Find joy in the smallest things. The people who learn to do this are the most fun type of people to be around.

 

18. Choose to overlook offenses.  This is one of the most powerful and beneficial choices you can make.

19. Always offer to help when anyone is working in the kitchen.

20. Keep the confidences people entrust to you.  A trustworthy person is a rare jewel. 

And that, my sweet girl, is definitely what you are.

 

What a story God has written for you this first 20 years.  May the pages and chapters and characters and plots only get richer from here as you continue to follow Jesus and discover He’s the reason for it all!  I love you!