Today
One month. My family has lived our first month without my dad here, and we’re amazed at the overwhelming sense of absence and presence. The absence of a person so big to us that he’ll never be able to be replaced. And the presence of a God so real to us that we can never doubt Him.
Since there’s no night in Heaven, it’s still Dad’s first day. I still can’t wrap my head around that. We’ve always known he was smarter than us, but now he’s ever so much more enlightened. So many times during a day, I wonder–what is he doing right now? I’m here doing mundane and mortal things, while he’s experiencing the amazing.
You may be surprised that I haven’t visited his grave since the funeral. And that’s due to the fact that I’ve never once thought of him being there. He’s not. He’s far away from us at the moment, but he’s definitely not dead. His gravesite is such a sweet memorial to him, and located on his church property- his favorite place on earth. I’m thankful for that. But I’m more thankful for the peace that assures me that he’s not there.
It’s that peace that I call on when I get overwhelmed. When I think that I may have to live another whole lifetime until I see him again, or when I remember that he won’t be here for the “important” events, I have to stop. And I remind myself, and my mom, and my sister and brother that we can do this. We can live through today. Each morning when I wake up and have to remember that he’s not here now, I hear God telling me, “You can do it.” And I am.
And whatever you’re facing today, you can do it, too. Let me comfort you with the fact that I know what you’re going through. We’re not alone. Let’s remind each other to take it a day at a time. We can do today. Let’s figure out tomorrow tomorrow.
On this Pray for Me Monday, take the words of Matthew 6:34 and let them help you today:
“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”
If you have a specific prayer request, be sure to let me know, either here, on my Facebook page, or by private message! I’m praying for you!
Nicole Anderson
May 4, 2015 @ 1:28 pm
I understand what you mean when you say it's a peace you call on when you get overwhelmed and have to remind yourself that you can do this. I lost my best friends almost six years ago now, it's a different type of loss – the loss of a parent versus the loss of a dear friend – but he was such a crucial part of my life…I can't think of a time that doesn't involve him somehow…and that first year after losing him was the worst. I look back now at blog/diary entries I wrote describing my loss and I thought I would drown in it.i could never find a way to remind myself that I would never get over it, but I would get through it. I am in awe of your strength, faith and conviction. I'm sending prayers your way that those things remain strong and that this pain be eased a bit for you and your family.
Julie
May 4, 2015 @ 8:33 pm
Thank you, Nicole! The reality of loss is so very real to so many people, and I'm seeing that so much more clearly now. It's hard to accept that these people we miss cannot be replaced, and only God can heal the hurt. It's a life-long process. May we both feel God's peace on this journey!
Jordyn Brown
May 4, 2015 @ 11:10 pm
Oh, it's so hard to go on. But we just have to remember that they will be with us during all of those important and special moments, if not physically!
Sending prayers to you and yours.
xoxo, SS
The Southern Stylista
Julie
May 5, 2015 @ 11:56 am
You're right, Jordyn! Thanks so much!
Marie Fyfe
May 5, 2015 @ 12:06 pm
Dear Julie. My father left us for heaven almost 20 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. When I see clouds in the sky I am reminded of his wavy white hair. When I see a grandfather holding the hand of their grandchild, I remember how my father loved and cherished my daughter. He was a very handy person around the house and taught me how to make simple repairs. Now when I am challenged by a repair I pray that he will guide me. AND HE DOES. I always say that when my project/repair is finished that my father helped me. We very rarely go to his gravesite as I too believe he is not there. I am now going down the path of losing my mother who has COPD and now dementia. I know that I will be losing her soon, but find comfort in knowing that she and my father will be together again going down the path of their new journey together once again.
Liz
May 6, 2015 @ 4:27 pm
Julie and Family: May the sweet HOLY SPIRIT continue to minister His peace, comfort, and encouragement to each of you! Much Love in CHRIST from Oklahoma! :o) Ps. 59:16-17
Sandra Pearce
October 22, 2015 @ 7:40 pm
I stumbled upon your blog today, and just read this post. Thank you for your words. My family said goodbye to my sweet Daddy in June, and Heaven gained my biggest hero. I am like you, in that I don't feel like I have to visit his grave because he is not there!! Thank God we have hope and will one day see him again. The pain is still very raw, and just like you, we still have our first Thanksgiving and Christmas to make it through. But, by His Grace, we will make it! My daddy wouldn't want us to miss him, but it's still so hard. Praying for you!
Julie
October 22, 2015 @ 8:08 pm
Prayers for you as well! Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, even on really hard days, we can remind ourselves– we will make it!